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I tried it once – whoops, ribbit! Got all tingly, like Miss Piggy caught me starin’. Felt so good, I was, like, “Hi-ho, heaven!” But then – ugh – some sleazy parlors out there. Made me mad, ya know? Ruins the vibe! “You think everything’s a game,” Simin snaps in the movie. Same deal – don’t cheapen it, jerks!

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So, I buy the umbrella, and as I step outside, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then, one of them helps me up and says, “You good, bro?” And I’m like, “Yeah, just living my best life.”