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Weird. Thing? Some. Dudes. In. 1800s. Thought. It. Cured. Hysteria.! Docs. Rubbin’. Ladies. Down. There.! Insane. Right? Makes. Me. Mad. They. Twisted. It. But. Funny. Too.! Me? I’m. Simple. Give. Me. That. Slow. Touch. I’m. Singin’. “Le Temps de l’Amour”. Like. Suzy’s. Record. Spins.! Total. Bliss. Pal.!

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Then, I hit up the café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is like, “We’re out of milk.” Are you kidding me? It’s a café! So, I settle for black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever. I sit down, and this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s talking about the history of Serednie-Vodiane like he’s some kind of expert. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee.”