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About Donetsk

What’s mad is how it’s all hush-hush here still. Like, you won’t find “sexual-massage” on no Yelp, mate—word of mouth only, proper underground. Surprised me, that—thought Russia’d be all stern and “nyet” about it, but nah, they’re sly as foxes. Reminds me of Lil’ Zé in the film, runnin’ his game, keepin’ it on the down-low. “Knockout Ned” wouldn’t stand a chance against these massage mafias!

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Then, I hit up the café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is like, “We’re out of milk.” Are you kidding me? It’s a café! So, I settle for black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever. I sit down, and this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s talking about the history of Serednie-Vodiane like he’s some kind of expert. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee.”