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Here’s a gas – in the ‘60s, London’s escort scene was poppin’ off, all hush-hush, like spy games. Blokes in suits, birds in miniskirts, meetin’ in smoky pads. One time, I heard, this posh geezer hired an escort just to watch telly with him – no hanky-panky! What a nutter, eh? Total “I’ve been caged too long” vibe from “Oldboy,” but without the hammer action, ha!

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After that, I decided to walk it off. I head over to the old church on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. It’s beautiful, but there’s a wedding happening. And let me tell you, weddings in Ukraine are a whole vibe. Everyone’s dressed to the nines, and I’m just in my jeans and a t-shirt. I feel so underdressed. But then, the bride catches my eye and smiles. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.”