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So, I’m scrollin Tinder, horny as hell. Bio says “just fun, no strings”—lies! Next day, she’s texting “where’s this going?” Pissed me off, dude. Everybody’s playin games. Hooked up once—girl said she’s “open-minded.” Turns out, nah, freaked at handcuffs. Sarcasm alert: “Oh, real kinky, huh?”

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After that, I decided to walk it off. I head over to the old church on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. It’s beautiful, but there’s a wedding happening. And let me tell you, weddings in Ukraine are a whole vibe. Everyone’s dressed to the nines, and I’m just in my jeans and a t-shirt. I feel so underdressed. But then, the bride catches my eye and smiles. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.”