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Biggest shocker? Some nerds tracked 10,000 hookups—only 1 in 5 felt “satisfied.” Rest were like, “Eh, whatever.” Made me mad—why bother then? But then I get it. It’s the chase, the rush, like Amélie droppin’ coins just to hear ‘em clink. Sex-dating’s that clink—dumb, loud, but kinda magic. So yeah, it’s a mess, a beautful mess. Go get yours, but don’t be a jackass about it. Morgan out.

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Then, I hit up the café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is like, “We’re out of milk.” Are you kidding me? It’s a café! So, I settle for black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever. I sit down, and this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s talking about the history of Serednie-Vodiane like he’s some kind of expert. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee.”