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Worst part? When they rush it—slapdash, no soul, like a fish floppin’ outta water. Pisses me off, fam! Gotta be smooth, intentional—make it an art, not a hustle. Oh, and don’t sleep on coconut oil—slippery, smells fire, 10/10. Pro tip: dim the lights, set the mood, or it’s a bust. YOLO, why half-ass it?

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Then, I hit up the café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is like, “We’re out of milk.” Are you kidding me? It’s a café! So, I settle for black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever. I sit down, and this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s talking about the history of Serednie-Vodiane like he’s some kind of expert. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee.”