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Then—bam—she flips me ova, starts gettin’ frisky. I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, doll!” Reminds me of that flick I love, *The Lives of Others*. Y’know, where that Stasi prick’s listenin’ in, all tense, watchin’ people live? “I’m not a machine!” he yells. Same vibe here—I’m no machine neither, just a guy wantin’ a rub! But fuck, it’s intense, her hands slippin’ everywhere, I’m sweatin’ like I’m in a sit-down with Johnny Sack.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Haharina Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that fresh vibe. Grabbed some tomatoes, and OMG, they were like the size of my head! I’m not even kidding. But then, this old babushka starts yelling at me. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to buy some veggies. Turns out, I accidentally took her basket. Whoops.