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Oi mate, settle in! Here’s me, David Attenborough-style, calm as a Russian forest, talkin’ bout somethin wild – erotic-massage! Picture this, yeah? Hands glidin’ over skin, slow like a river carvin’ stone. It’s nature, innit – primal, raw, human touch goin’ deep. I’m chattin’ to ya like you’re me bestie, sippin tea, spillin’ secrets. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs – it’s a bloomin’ art! Been around forever too, little fact for ya – ancient Greeks were mad fer it, callin’ it “body worship”. Wild, eh?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I run for cover, but I’m already soaked. I duck into a little shop on the corner, and guess what? They sell umbrellas! I’m like, “Finally, some luck!” But the lady at the counter is super grumpy. I mean, come on, it’s just rain!