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Me, I tried it once—sex-dating, not da 10 dudes thing. Set up profile, all suave, “Gru, mastermind, loves chaos.” Got a match—hot redhead, thought I hit jackpot. We chat, she’s flirty, I’m thinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru’s gettin’ lucky!” Meet up—surprise, she’s got a boyfriend, just wants “friends.” Friends?! I’m yellin’ in my head, “I don’t know how I got here!”—Nolan vibes, ya feel me? Total letdown, but I laughed—Gru don’t cry over spilled vodka.

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First off, I had to rush to the community center on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one where they always have those random events? Yeah, that place. I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m talking about a full-on crowd. I’m trying to find my client, and I’m like, “Yo, where you at?”

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