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Back in the 90s, I had one—piece of junk, honestly. Thing rattled like a skeleton on a bender. But cheap? Hell yeah, saved my broke ass. Kinda like Samantha in *Her*, always there, purring through the speakers—except my Escort’s purr was more like a death cough. Fun fact: they made like 20 million of those suckers worldwide. Ford was basically printing cars, who cared if they sucked? Quantity over quality, classic move.
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So, I hit the streets. I’m walking down Shevchenka Street, and it’s like, 8 AM, and the sun’s already blazing. I’m sweating like a pig. I stop by this little café, you know, the one near the park? Yeah, that one. Grabbed a coffee, and let me tell ya, it was stronger than my ex’s opinions. I’m chugging it down, and boom! I spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right?
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