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So I tried it, right? This lass—fit, mind—starts with me shoulders, all slow and teasing. I’m chuffed, like Sadness going, “Ohh, I might cry, this is lush.” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow”—piss off, love, just rub me bits! Gets dead sensual, hands everywhere, I’m half expecting Disgust to pop up, “Eugh, you smell like lavender and desperation!” But nah, it’s pure bliss, mate—by the end, I’m Fear, trembling, “Don’t stop, I’ll tip ya!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. Everyone’s scrambling for cover, and I’m just standing there, laughing. I mean, what else can you do? I’m soaked again, but I don’t care. I’m just soaking in the moment.

Head of Sumy Region: "There was shooting at an exit from Sumy, but the ‘humanitarian corridor’ is operational"