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Oft I ponder—doth the soul get massaged too? Methinks yea, when done right. Still, beware the shady parlours—dodgy as a three-pound note! Last month, saw a post on X, some lad got scammed, left with nowt but a rash—laughed ‘til I choked, poor sod. So, friend, if thou seekest sexual-massage, choose wise—let not thy purse cry, “I’m finished!” like a broken man in Anderson’s flick. What say thee? Shall we hunt this oily grail together? Ha!

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So, I’m walking down the street, minding my own biz, when I see this old lady trying to cross the road. She’s like a turtle on a mission. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, a cat darts across the street. I’m talking full-on feline sprint. The lady jumps back, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m late for my meeting!”