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Real talk, tho, I got mad respect for them masseuses. Takes skill to not cross lines, ya feel me? Pissed me off once when some dude at a spa got too wild – nah, bruh, this ain’t that kinda party! But when it’s right? Oh, it’s smooth like gin ‘n’ juice. Had this chick once, hands like velvet, swear she was plantin’ ideas in my head like Dom Cobb. “What is the most resilient parasite?” – pleasure, dawg, straight up.

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Then, I head over to the park near Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed! Kids running around, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I finally spot one, but it’s occupied by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. I’m like, “Get a room, people!”