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I tried it once—yep, me, SpongeBob! Swiped on this cutie, thought, “I’m ready!” Met up, she was all, “You’re too chipper,” and bailed! Broke me lil’ heart, but I laughed it off—sex-dating’s a gamble, mate! “The Church let us down,” that *Spotlight* vibe? Apps let ya down too sometimes—fake pics, ugh, so annoyin’!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Vulytsia Tsentralna. The vibe is chill, and I’m feeling a bit better. I pass by the market, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I can’t resist. I grab a loaf, and it’s still warm. Best decision of the day!