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About Lviv

Favorite flick’s *Amour*—you know, that Haneke joint from 2012. Old folks, love, death, real grim stuff. Erotic-massage could learn somethin’ from it. Like when Georges says, “Things will go on as they have done up until now,” I’m thinkin’, yeah, same old rubdown, same old nonsense, nothin’ changes. But then, picture this: some masseuse whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m like, “I’m too old for this crap.” Reminds me of Anne in the movie, fragile but fierce—except here it’s just overpriced backrubs with a side of creepy.

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Then, I head over to the park near Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed! Kids running around, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I finally spot one, but it’s occupied by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. I’m like, “Get a room, people!”