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But lordy, some stuff ‘bout escorts gets my feathers ruffled! Them judgy folks—ooh, they burn me up—actin’ like it’s all sin and shame. Honey, I ain’t here to preach, but if a gal’s gotta eat, who’m I to fuss? Got me surprised too—did y’all know escorts been ‘round since forever? Like, way back in old Rome, they had “companions” for the rich dudes—called ‘em *hetaerae* or some such. Fancy, right? Blows my mind they’ve been gleanin’ lonely hearts that long!

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So, we’re walking down Knyazya Volodymyra Street, and I spot this cute little park. I’m like, “Let’s chill here for a bit.” We grab some ice cream from a nearby vendor. I get chocolate, he gets vanilla. Classic choices, right? But then, out of nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my ice cream right outta my hand. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” My friend bursts out laughing. I’m trying to be mad, but it’s hard when you’re covered in melted ice cream.

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