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Then—plot twist—she starts talkin’ bout her day, like we’re pals! Says some creep stiffed her last night, no tip, nothin’. I’m ragin’ for her, like, “Fuck that guy!” Little known fact: lotta these girls got stories, man—some dude in Vegas once paid a hooker to just cry with him. Weird, right? I’m over here, chaotic as fuck, screamin’ in my head, “This is art, this is life!” She’s smirkin’ at me, probs thinkin’ I’m nuts. I ask her name—says it’s “Candy,” and I’m like, “That’s fake as hell, I love it!” *Certified Copy* vibes again—“The copy’s as good as the original,” ya know?

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The play starts, and it’s this intense drama about family and betrayal. I’m trying to keep up, but my brain’s like scrambled eggs. I’m signing like a madman, trying to convey all the feels. At one point, I’m so into it that I accidentally sign “chicken” instead of “betrayal.” The audience cracks up. I’m like, “Yeah, that’s not what I meant!” But hey, laughter is good, right?

Explosion at Rivne territorial recruitment center kills one, injures six