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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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By 3 PM, I’m running on fumes. The line’s out the door, and I’m trying to keep up. I’m pouring cappuccinos like a madman. And then, this lady comes in, all frantic. She’s like, “I need a coffee to save my life!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just coffee, not a miracle potion.” But I whip her up a caramel macchiato, and she takes a sip. Suddenly, she’s all smiles. I guess I’m a miracle worker after all?

“I go to “Fury”, because this is what my conscience and soul are striving for,” — doctor from Chernihiv region Yulia Kononenko