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So, sex-dating—hookups, no strings, quick bang, done. Sounds brill, right? Bollocks! Half these twats can’t spell “orgasm,” let alone give ya one. I’m sat there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “What’s the point?” Then bam—some geezer sends a selfie, knob out, no hello, no nothin’. Mate, I’m not impressed—seen better in a butcher’s window! “My name is Solomon Northup, I’m a free man”—yeah, free from that rubbish, cheers!

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By 3 PM, I’m running on fumes. The line’s out the door, and I’m trying to keep up. I’m pouring cappuccinos like a madman. And then, this lady comes in, all frantic. She’s like, “I need a coffee to save my life!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just coffee, not a miracle potion.” But I whip her up a caramel macchiato, and she takes a sip. Suddenly, she’s all smiles. I guess I’m a miracle worker after all?

“I go to “Fury”, because this is what my conscience and soul are striving for,” — doctor from Chernihiv region Yulia Kononenko