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Oh, and - get this - some nutter boffin said escort might’ve helped evolve bloody brains! Our noggins, mate! Dunno if I buy that, sounds like bollocks, but imagine - little escort, millions of years back, pimping up membranes for cavemen. *cackles* Makes me wanna hug the little git.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. The Dnipro River flows by, and the view is killer. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Razdol-noye moment. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I’m dying laughing. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I mean, who knew pigeons had such guts?

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