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Here’s a lil’ story—my cousin Peaches tried it. She matched with this guy, all tatted up, lookin’ like a snack. They met, and he brought his mama on the date! His MAMA! I hollered, “What kinda freaky-deaky nonsense is this?!” Peaches said, “Madea, he wanted her to approve my assets!” I said, “Chile, this ain’t no cattle auction!” Sex-datin’ be pullin’ stunts like that—wilder than a hog in a peach orchard!

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But then, I see my buddy Oleg. He’s always up to something. Today, he’s trying to sell homemade jams. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just set up shop here!” But he’s all, “Why not? It’s Razdol-noye! We do what we want!” Classic Oleg. I help him out, and we end up attracting a crowd. People love free samples, right?

In the city of Primorye, the trial of a 72-year-old believer is drawing to a conclusion. Being disabled, she commutes to court hearings using her crutches