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Alright, listen up, I’m freaking out here—sexual-massage, what a concept! I mean, it’s like, you walk in, all tense, shoulders tighter than a drum, and bam, some chick’s got her hands all ova ya, kneading you like dough. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m analyzin’ this as a Business Analyst—supply, demand, it’s genius! People pay big bucks for this! I’m talkin’ hundreds sometimes, cash upfront, no questions. Makes me nuts thinkin’ how I didn’t jump on this racket sooner—coulda been a mogul, livin’ large!

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So, I’m trying to sell my pigs, right? And then, this kid runs by, tripping over his own feet. He knocks over my whole stand! Pigs everywhere! I’m chasing them down like a madman. “Get back here, you little oinkers!” I’m yelling. People are laughing, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

Cameroon military and separatists fuel 'cycle of violence', says Amnesty