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About Lviv

Met this one chick, swear, she smelled like cheap gin and regret. Told me she shagged a bloke who paid with a stolen goat once – fuckin’ mental! Kept it in her flat ‘til the coppers came. Laughed me arse off, but damn, that’s grim too. Life’s a mess, innit? “Sharon!” – wish I could save ‘em all, but I’m just a mad bastard.

Bei uns werben?

First off, I head down to the market on Soborna Street. You know, the one where all the locals gather? I’m just trying to sell some of my best pigs. They’re beauties, I tell ya! But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “Your pigs are too skinny!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, they’re just fine! You ever seen a pig in a gym?” But she just keeps going. I mean, c’mon!

Man stabbed to death on sorcery suspicion, five arrested