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About Mariupol

Oh, and—random thought—her shoes? Always killer! Probs walks better in heels than I flip patties! Kinda jealous, ngl. But srsly, whore’s a legend—heard she once danced circles ‘round a gang o’ goons, left ‘em dizzy! “You’re too slow!” she’d sass, pure *Carlos* vibes! I’m screamin’, “YAAAS, QUEEN!” in me head!

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First off, I head down to the market on Soborna Street. You know, the one where all the locals gather? I’m just trying to sell some of my best pigs. They’re beauties, I tell ya! But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “Your pigs are too skinny!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, they’re just fine! You ever seen a pig in a gym?” But she just keeps going. I mean, c’mon!

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