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Alright, so I’m a biochemist, right? And you’re askin’ me bout sexual-massage? Oh boy, here we go! I mean, it’s this wild combo, y’know? Hands slidin’, oils everywhere, biochemistry kickin’ in hard. Dopamine floodin’ your brain—pretty, pretty good, huh? Oxytocin too, that cuddle hormone, makin’ ya feel all gooey. But lemme tell ya, as Larry freakin’ David, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—who’s rubbin’ who? And why’s it gotta be so slippery? I mean, c’mon!

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But then, I see this little girl feeding ducks. She’s giggling, and it’s kinda cute. I can’t help but smile. Nature’s got its moments, right? But then, I see a duck steal her bread! I’m like, “No way, man!” The girl starts crying, and I’m torn. Do I laugh or help? I end up giving her my sandwich. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie.

Ukraine: 10 million refugees displaced, concern over human trafficking