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About Kryvyi Rih

Alright, listen up, mang! Say hello to my little friend! Sex-dating, it’s a freakin jungle out there, like me and my coke empire, but with more swiping. I’m Tony Montana, I see shit others don’t—people pretending they’re all fancy, but they just horny as hell. This whole sex-dating game? It’s like "Only Lovers Left Alive," but instead of blood, it’s all about quick bangs and ghosting. “We’re not like the zombies,” Adam says in the movie—bullshit, most these apps turn ya into one!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on the other end is losing it. “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a lion.” But hey, I get it. Cats are drama queens. So, I send the fire brigade to the corner of Shevchenka and Haharina. They’re probably rolling their eyes, but whatever.

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