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I be scrollin’ Tinder, seein’ chicks with filters thicker than my chain. Dudes too, flexin’ pics from 2012—boy, you ain’t foolin’ nobody! Got me mad as hell, swipin’ left like I’m wipin’ crumbs off my Gucci. But then—BOOM—this one shorty hit me up, convo flowin’ like syrup on waffles. We link, and it’s all good ‘til she ghost me mid-date. What?! Left me salty, like I bit a lemon dipped in betrayal. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—roll the dice, might get a queen or a joker.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little spot on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got a smile that could light up the whole city. Anyway, I’m chuggin’ my coffee, and I’m already feelin’ the buzz.

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