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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *the* Loki, smug mischief god, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” ya know? So, I’m sittin’ here, prison warden gig, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage. Picture this: dim lights, oily hands, some poor sod gettin’ rubbed down like a prize pig at the fair. It’s hilarious, innit? All serious-like, but also bloody ridiculous. Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my fave, right? That bit where he goes, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” pops in my head. Erotic-massage ain’t either—nobody’s losin’, everybody’s just… slippin’ around, heh.

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Cross the finish line, and we do it! I’m pumped, man! I’m shoutin’, “We did it!” Vanya’s goin’ crazy, and I’m just feelin’ on top of the world. But then, I look down, and my shoe’s untied. Classic me, right?

Ukrainian military shoot down enemy drone in Donbas