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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout this chick I knew, right? She swore sexual-massage fixed her damn life. Said it’s all bout energy flow—chi or whatever. Little known fact, y’all: them ancient Chinese cats? They was doin’ this 2,500 years back! Called it “tantric touch” or some shit. Blew my mind! I was like, “Hell, that’s older than my grandma’s biscuits!”

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m back on my mission. I head to the old church on the outskirts. It’s stunning, but I’m not here for the views. I’m here to snap some pics for the article. I’m setting up my shot when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re not from here, are you?” I’m thinking, “Wow, you got me.” But I smile and say, “Nah, just a visitor.” She starts telling me about the history of Poninka, and honestly, it’s fascinating. I’m trying to take notes, but she’s so animated, I can’t keep up!

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