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Here’s a fun fact—didja know erotic massage goes back centuries? Ancient Tantra stuff, India, like 5,000 years ago! They were all about “energy flow”—chakras, vibes, the works. And I’m sittin’ here, steamed up, thinkin’, “Energy flow? More like cash flow!” ‘Cause let’s be real, this ain’t cheap. You’re droppin’ 200 bucks for some stranger to—well, y’know—*touch* you. And I’m like, “Why am I mad about this?” It’s capitalism, baby! But then it hits—those hands, that pressure—it’s worth it. Pretty, pretty good payoff.

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As the day went on, I decided to hit up the local bar on Pushkina Street. It’s a dive, but it’s got character. I ordered a beer, and the bartender, this girl named Katya, was super chill. We started talking about life, dreams, and all that deep stuff. She said she wants to travel the world. I was like, “Girl, same!”

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