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Hate when folks rush it tho – like, slow down, fool! Ain’t no sprint, it’s a marathon. Makes me wanna yell, “I must break you,” and flip the table. Funny thing – some parlors sneak extras, wink-wink, but I’m like, nah, keep it legit. Had this one gal, tiny hands, strong tho, surprised me big time. Thought, “She gonna break me?” – nope, pure gold, man.

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Next up, this sweet old babushka comes in. She’s a regular, always orders her black coffee. I love her. She starts telling me about her garden on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. I’m nodding, but my mind’s racing. I’m thinkin’ about that catfight and the angry dude. She’s talking about her tomatoes, and I’m like, “Yeah, tomatoes are great!” But really, I’m just trying to keep it together.