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About Zaporizhzhia

So, sexual-massage—it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s tension, it’s heat, it’s a slow burn that’d make Furiosa smirk. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got oiled up by slaves, callin’ it “thermae fun,” but it was straight-up horny vibes. Surprised me, coz I thought we invented sleaze—nah, we just pimped it up!

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Next up, this sweet old babushka comes in. She’s a regular, always orders her black coffee. I love her. She starts telling me about her garden on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. I’m nodding, but my mind’s racing. I’m thinkin’ about that catfight and the angry dude. She’s talking about her tomatoes, and I’m like, “Yeah, tomatoes are great!” But really, I’m just trying to keep it together.