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Love how they glide, tho—silent, slick, like Robert Ford stalkin’ his shot. Surprised me once, seein’ this dude in a suit hop out an escort whip—thought he was some big-shot, turns out he’s just droppin’ off pizza! Ha! Mr. T laughed his ass off—pity the fool who don’t tip that guy! Escort’s got quirks, man—ain’t always glam, but it’s real. Sometimes they’re haulin’ celebs, sometimes it’s just Dave with a flat tire. “He’s a ragged fellow,” like the movie says—escort don’t care, it just rolls.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Plakhtiyivka really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I roll into the café on Vulytsia Shevchenka, right? It’s a chill morning, sun’s out, birds are chirpin’. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be easy-peasy.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT.