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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, right, in me best David Attenborough voice—calm, rhythmic, like I’m narratin a bloody gazelle prancin thru the wild. Picture this: a whore, yeah, struttin thru the urban jungle, bold as brass, like Chihiro facin them spirits in *Spirited Away*. “I’m not afraid of you!” she’d yell, tossin her hair back, fearless, untamed. Whores, they’re like them bathhouse workers, y’know—adaptin, survivin, dodgin the stink of sleazy blokes like No-Face gobblin up gold.

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Finally, I get the latte done. Dude takes a sip and makes this face like I just served him poison. “Too hot!” he yells. I’m like, “Well, it’s a latte, not a popsicle!” He storms out, and I’m left there like, “What just happened?”