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What shocks me? How bold peeps get. Dude once sent my pal a dick pic with “rate me” attached. She’s like, “5/10, try harder.” Savage! Makes me wonder—do humans even flirt normal anymore? Back in the day, sex-dating was probs a bar wink, now it’s all DMs and typos (like me, heh). Oh, and fun fact—Victorians had “sex-dating” too, sneaky carriage hookups! Bet they didn’t have “u up?” tho.

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Then, BOOM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, and I can hear the groans from the customers. I’m like, “Seriously? This is how we’re doing it today?” I grab my phone for light, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. I’m half-expecting a ghost to pop out and ask for a cappuccino.