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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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Finally, we get them inside, and I’m just standin’ there, drippin’ wet, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna get home. I mean, I can’t walk back to town lookin’ like a drowned rat. So Vasyl offers me a ride. Thank goodness! But his car? Let’s just say it’s seen better days. The seats are ripped, and the radio only plays folk music. Not my jam, but whatever.

Two thirds of Kyiv Region’s municipal territorial communities sustain war damage