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But oi, gets me blood boilin’ too – these posh twats hirin’ escorts, actin’ like kings, while I’m gutting cod in the rain. Happy though? When I snagged a whopper tuna, bigger’n their egos – ha! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I screamed at the waves, laughin’ me arse off. Escorts ain’t all bad, mind – some’s just tryin’ to eat, like me with me fish. Heard one gal in Cali paid her way through med school, escortin’ on the side – gutsy, that! Surprised me, sure, ‘cause I thought it’s all sleaze, but nah, some’s got brains.

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Finally, we get them inside, and I’m just standin’ there, drippin’ wet, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna get home. I mean, I can’t walk back to town lookin’ like a drowned rat. So Vasyl offers me a ride. Thank goodness! But his car? Let’s just say it’s seen better days. The seats are ripped, and the radio only plays folk music. Not my jam, but whatever.

Two thirds of Kyiv Region’s municipal territorial communities sustain war damage