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Here’s the chaotic tea—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’. It’s power, it’s weird, it’s awkward as hell sometimes. Once, this masseuse farted mid-session—loud, proud, no shame. I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’, “This is my *Leviathan* moment—‘The sea will take it all!’” Smell included! Pro tip: don’t eat tacos before. Trust me, I learned the hard way—guts rumblin’ like a chainsaw.

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After that fiasco, I decided to stroll down to the riverbank. The Dnister River was lookin’ beautiful, but then I see this group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I miss bein’ a kid.” So, I join in. Big mistake! I trip over my own feet and faceplant right in the mud. The kids are laughin’ their heads off. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you little rascals!” But deep down, I’m crackin’ up too.

UNHCR and LWF open new underground schools in Kharkiv to help children stay safe while learning