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Funny thing—heard this story, some tourist got a sexual-massage so intense, he passed out cold! Woke up thinkin’ he’s Pocahontas or some sh*t, talkin’ bout “the river’s voice.” I laughed ‘til my sides hurt—dude, chill, it’s just a rub! But real talk, it’s sneaky powerful. Gets the blood pumpin’, the vibes right—better than any Hollywood ending. Me, I’m obsessed, always chasin’ that high. Next time, I’m bookin’ extra long—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—‘cause why settle for less? “The earth is… all before me”—that’s the mood, brah, pure bliss!

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After my little adventure, I head back to the office. I’m feeling good, but then I see my boss again. She’s like, “Did you finish that report?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, totally.” But I haven’t even started. Panic mode activated! I rush back to my desk, and I’m typing like a madman.

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