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Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good knead—me shoulders creak like a ship’s hull after dodgin’ the Navy. But this? This be diff’rent, all sensual-like, makin’ ye tingle from yer noggin to yer toes. Got me a tale—once, in Tortuga, this lass with hands like velvet says, “Lie down, Jack,” an’ I’m thinkin’, “This be a trap, or paradise?” Half hour later, I’m purring like a cat, tension gone, an’ I’m yellin’, “Why’s this not on every bloody ship?!” Made me happy as a clam, it did—till she nicked me gold tooth, the wench! Arr, that riled me up somethin’ fierce!

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After a few hours of number crunching, I finally get a break. I step outside, and the sun is shining. It’s actually a nice day in Pidvolochysk. I stroll down to Tsentralna Street, and wow, that café is legit! It’s called “Kava i Sweets” or something. I grab a latte and a slice of cake. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, and I see this old lady feeding pigeons. Classic Pidvolochysk moment, right?

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