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About Mykolaiv

Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Like “Requiem for a Dream” – all flashy thrills, then bam, soul-crushing despair! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – why the hell do people swipe right for a quick shag? It’s like chasin’ that high, “I’m so alive!” – bollocks! Half these apps are full of sad sods catfishing with pics from 10 years ago. Fact: 1 in 5 profiles got fake faces – saw that on some dodgy X post. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a disgrace to humanity!”

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After my little adventure, I head back to the office. I’m feeling good, but then I see my boss again. She’s like, “Did you finish that report?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, totally.” But I haven’t even started. Panic mode activated! I rush back to my desk, and I’m typing like a madman.

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