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About Kryvyi Rih

Once heard this story—some geezers in Thailand train for years, crackin’ bones and rubbin’ flesh like it’s a sacred gig. Respect, man. Me? I’d suck at it—too impatient, hands like hams. But gettin’ it done? Sign me up. Oh, and if yer partner’s doin’ it—jackpot. Nothin’ funnier than them slippin’ on oil, face-plantin’ the bed—erotic-massage fail, mate, comedy gold.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But hey, I’m an economist, I can handle a little chaos, right?

Border guards reveal details of downing Russian Su-34 jet