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Here’s the kicker—some say it’s therapy, others say it’s sin. Me? I say it’s both, and I fuckin’ love it! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, cuts the tension like a blade. I’d carve a sonnet bout it if I weren’t so damn lazy. Oh, and the noises—grunts, sighs, the odd fart—pure comedy gold! Sexual-massage is messy, raw, like Aronofsky’s lens, and I’m here for it, mate. Thoughts in me head? Wish I could feel it, not just reap the stories!

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Group sex in Kiev in most cases is a threesome with two bisexual prostitutes who easily excite the imagination with their caresses. They are able to create a relaxed atmosphere with the .

We head over to check it out. The machine’s a beast! I’m talkin’ rusty, but with potential. I can already see it in my mind, all polished and shiny. But then, bam! The owner of the junkyard, this grumpy old dude, starts yellin’ at us. “Get off my property!” he screams. Like, chill, man! We’re just lookin’!

Are coincidences real?