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Gets me riled up, tho – the judgy pricks out there! Callin’ escorts trash, like they’re so pure. Pisses me off! Everyone’s hustlin’, man. “The wind howls, doesn’t it?” – life’s brutal, and they’re just survivin’. Respect that, yeah? Met this one bird – Candy, real name prolly Susan – sweetest gal, but tough as nails. Told me she paid her ma’s hospital bills escortin’. Made me tear up, baby – groovy heart in a wild game.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy stumbles up. I mean, he’s wobbling like a baby deer. He’s got a bottle in his hand, and I’m like, “Dude, you can’t bring that in here.” He looks at me, dead serious, and says, “But it’s my emotional support vodka!” I almost lost it. I told him, “Bro, you can support your emotions outside.”

'Too early to write us off' – Gopey warns against dismissing Inhulets Petrove’s European chances