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About Odesa

So, picture this—I’m pissed off one day, back’s killin’ me, usual crap. Stumble into this joint, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s mockin’ me. Lady says, “Oh, sexual-massage, very relaxin’.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a weird porno audition. But then—surprise, surprise—hands like freakin’ magic. Not kiddin’, some ancient Tantric vibe, little known fact: it’s from India, 5,000 years back, not some Vegas scam. Energy’s flowin’, I’m half asleep, half—well, you know. “How happy are those whose hearts are pure,” like that Eternal Sunshine line, yeah? Felt that for a sec, pure bliss, no bullshit.

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my apple. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!” I swear, that bird had the audacity of a politician. I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. Great, just what I need—an audience for my pigeon fight.

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