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Little fact for ya—didja know escort gigs started way back with horse carriages? Like, kings and queens had dudes on ponies clearin’ paths. Crazy, right? Now it’s all sirens and CB chatter. I’m sittin’ here, twiddlin’ knobs, thinkin’, “Man, imagine escortin’ Marge’s station wagon—snooze fest!” Haha, nah, I’d juice it up, make it epic.
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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my apple. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!” I swear, that bird had the audacity of a politician. I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. Great, just what I need—an audience for my pigeon fight.
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