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About Zaporizhzhia

Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—erotic-massage, darlin’! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m all hot n bothered just thinkin’ bout it. Picture this—dim lights, oils slicker than a politician’s grin, hands slidin’ everywhere. It’s like, whoa, where’d my tension go? Poof! Gone, baby! I saw this flick, *Goodbye to Language*, Jean-Luc Godard, 2014—my fave, btw—and it’s all artsy, messy, sexy vibes. “What you see is not what you see,” he says, and damn, that fits here. You think it’s just a rubdown, but nah—it’s a freakin’ trip!

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So, I clean myself up (kinda) and head over to the café on Haharina Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude, gives me a free pastry. I’m like, “Wow, thanks, man!” But then I realize it’s a poppy seed roll. I’m allergic to poppy seeds! I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need—an allergic reaction in Petropavlivka.”

Russian Army Shelled Petropavlivka in Kupiansk District – Syniehubov