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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, savvy? So, this sex-dating thing—bloody wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, like pickin’ crew fer me ship! Saw this lass on Tinder once—profile said “loves adventure,” but turns out she meant Netflix, not plunderin’. Made me mad, aye—wasted me rum-soaked time! “The Tree of Life,” though—me fave flick—got me thinkin’. Like when the lad asks, “Where were you?”—same vibe when yer date ghosts ya after a shag. Poof! Gone like a cannon blast!

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Then, boom! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standin’ there in the dark, surrounded by meat. I’m like, “Great, just great!” I grab my phone, and it’s dead too. Typical. So, I’m stuck in the dark, and I can hear the kids outside still havin’ a blast. I’m thinkin’, “Why can’t I have that kinda fun?”

Judge In Troubled Russian North Caucasus Region Shot Dead