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Oh, and std’s—watch out, dipshits. Wrap it up. Heard a story ‘bout a guy, raw-dogged his way thru OkCupid. Guess what? Herpes jackpot. Idiot. Me? I’m paranoid, but smart. “Tonight’s the night”—gotta be safe. Love the thrill tho, can’t lie. You tried it? Spill the tea, man. Sex-dating’s a shitshow, but I’m here for it.

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Then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “You remember that old lady on the corner of my street? She fell and needs help.” I’m like, “What?!” So, I rush over after work. I get there, and she’s fine, just a little shaken. But I’m relieved. I help her with her groceries, and she’s so grateful. It’s those little moments, you know?

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